Mutual trust and respect are a sign of a healthy relationship. When insecurity rears its ugly head, the relationship is set on shaky grounds. Insecurity is part of everyone’s personality, but the relationship’s survival is detrimental when exhibited in more potent doses. Insecurities can manifest in different ways ranging from control issues to jealousy.
Signs of insecurity in a relationship that could drive your relationship apart-
Fear Of Losing Your Partner
Due to past trauma or tragedies, you may have developed a constant fear of losing your partner. It may have been from your past toxic relationship or the kind of unhealthy relationship that your parents had that has influenced you. You are always obsessing over seeking validation from your partner-constantly asking if he/she likes you if he/she is satisfied with the physical intimacy you share. Providing endless reassurances is tiring and could drive them crazy and rethink the relationship you share. It is this behaviour of insecurity that can destroy the existing relationship.
Insecure about the way you look
Your outer beauty will capture the eyes, but your inner beauty will capture the heart.-Steven Aitchinson.
Wanting to look beautiful is a fundamental part of human nature. It is always the external features that draw one’s eyes. If the inner beauty doesn’t shine through, then initial attraction fizzles away. Looking shabby and not carrying yourself well is solely your problem. But if you groom well and present yourself well, you are bound to catch someone’s eye.
Being insecure about one’s looks can be mentally torturing, and only you can fix it. It isn’t your partner’s problem to deal with. Your insecurity is like a hole in the bucket; no pouring water will fill the bucket. Similarly, no amount of assurances or compliments will resolve your insecurity about your looks.
Dislike Being On Your Own
Being alone with your thoughts is the biggest nightmare. The silence is tormenting, and the voice in your head is loud and harrowing. You always seek company and rather be anywhere than be in your own company. Your gripping presence may suffocate your partner and make them run for the hills. It is unhealthy to have such a mindset where you detest your own presence. Using others as a clutch can be crippling for the relationship.
Having such insecurity may also lead you to an unhealthy relationship that isn’t worthy of you.
Always Bickering With Your Partner
No relationship is devoid of arguments. Every relationship will face turbulence, but the relationship’s validity depends on the way you deal with the hiccups in your relationship.
If you are deliberately provoking arguments and itching to quarrel, then it is a sign of insecurity in a relationship. To mask one’s insecurity, one may tend to display nagging behaviour. Unfortunately, this behaviour will influence him/her to bicker about every trivial matter. Minor disagreements will set the ball rolling for volcanic altercations. If arguments become a daily routine, then the animosity between you will drive you apart until you lose sight of each other.
Insecurity in a relationship begins as just a tiny spark, may set your relationship ablaze. So, it is best to put out insecurity in the early stages.
Social media is a confidante of your insecurities
In earlier days, lovers would write letters to communicate their lovie-dovie feelings to each other—the sweet anticipation of waiting to hear from your lover, ah those memorable days. But now, with the advent of technology by leaps and bounds, almost everything is about instant gratification. A data pack and cell phone, and you are set. Social media is the cupid for most of the blossoming relationships.
Although social media has given birth to many relationships, social media has become one of the prime reasons for insecurity in a relationship and can lead people to break up or get divorced. Social media fuels insecurity and makes a person’s behaviour worse by several folds. With a phone at your disposal, you can keep checking the social media accounts until you go batshit crazy out of frustration and insecurities.
The ceaseless doubts and mistrust towards your partner may ruin your relationship beyond repair.
Walking on eggshells around your partner
People with low self-esteem feel that they are not enough. They have such a low opinion about themselves; they are always comparing themselves to someone else. When you do not accept yourselves the way you are, you wouldn’t want your partner to know the real you. You are trying to be the best person you can be. You are walking on eggshells around your partner, trying not to disappoint them in any way.
Imagine you were in a relationship for five years, and you still do not know your partner entirely or that they have been putting on a fake front. If you stand in their shoes, you can understand how they will feel if you weren’t honest about who you are.
It is a process to be okay with who you are. Seek help if you need it. Life is an everyday growth- embrace your flaws and shine like a star you are meant to be.