same gender relationship

8 Challenges Of Falling In Love With The Same Gender And How To Deal With It

It is only until recent years that same gender relationship has become legal in several countries. Earlier, the same gender relationship was considered a taboo and people were afraid to be beaten to death if their skeletons in the closet were revealed. Now people aren’t scared to come out of the closet. Yet the challenges people have to face by being in a same-gender relationship is plenty. There are many barriers for them to overcome personally as well as socially.

Some Of The Challenges Faced By People Who Are In A Same Gender Relationship

Keeping It A Secret

woman shushing

Fearing the judgement and discrimination, people tend to keep their relationship a secret. You may be open about your sexuality, but your partner maybe not. His/her parents may not support the decisions taken. Hence, they do not want to reveal they are gay/lesbian. 

You may be understanding for a while, but after a point, you will be frustrated. You are tired of keeping your relationship a secret as it is mentally and emotionally exhausting.

This difference in opinion between you and your partner could be a breaking point for your relationship.

Are They Into You?

With a tiny percentage of the population belonging to the LGBTQ community, dating people of the same gender is challenging. Not everyone is open about their orientation. Few are a pro at camouflaging to fit in, that they forget who they indeed are.

 Your gaydar may be jammed and end up falling in love with straight men or women. Worse is when you fall in love with your best friend. Not only you lose your chance at love, but you may have lost your friend for good.

Revealing It To Your Parents

woman with her mother

Some are fortunate to have supportive parents who love you straight or not? Others, not so much. They may be in denial, thinking it is just a phase and you will snap out of it. Maybe setting up gazillions of dates with the opposite gender will get you out of this rebellious rut. 

Sadly, biology doesn’t work like that. Attraction and love towards a same-gender person won’t vanish overnight.

Convincing your parents and getting their approval is complicated than taking cold showers.

Homophobia Is Real

Yes, there exists such a thing known as ‘homophobia’. It is an irrational, misguided hatred towards homosexual people. Homophobic people tend to forget that homosexual people are humans too. There have been instances where life threats have been made and their safety at stake. All just for being in a loving relationship with a human?

Being out in public and holding hand makes them feel like it is committing the crime.

HIV Taboo Stuck To Same Gender Relationship

HiV sign

Gay or lesbian relationships are heavily tabooed with having AIDS or being HIV positive. People are close-minded and make assumptions without checking for facts and doing some research. This stigma has proven hard to shake off because it is what has been portrayed in media and other outlets around the world.

Even though HIV transmission can happen in a heterosexual relationship, discrimination faced by people in a same-gender relationship is paramount.

Just A Trial

There are a few exceptional people who fetishise having a physical relationship with the same gender. They do not have any severe intention towards this relationship and treat it like a playtime. What they fail to realise in their selfish thoughts is that they are seriously hurting the other person. 

Such an encounter will make them insecure and hard for them to trust anyone in future. They could be robbed of the chance of having a beautiful and cherished relationship.

Gender Roles Aren’t Defined

Gay couple romancing

A common myth that needs to be busted about people in a same-gender relationship is that one is more feminine, and one is more masculine by characteristics. While it can be true, it isn’t a universal law. This concept of more one being feminine and other masculine arises from comparison with a heterosexual relationship.

Structurally constructed gender norm may be absent, or the same gender-relationship could be more of a gender-fluid nature.

Having A Child Together

This is a life-changing decision, be it a heterosexual or homosexual couple. Having a child together is extra challenging for couples who are of the same gender.

Points to take into consideration would be

  • Is adoption allowed in the place you live?
  • Which one of you would be the sperm donor? Who would bear the child?
  • Who would you choose for surrogacy?
  • Parenting responsibility and teaching kids about the gender roles the way you have seen in your relationship.
  • Raising the kids in a heterosexual dominant society.
  • How hard will it be for the kid to grow up with parents involved in a same-gender relationship?

How To Deal With It?

gay couple happy

While the problems and challenges faced by people involved in a same-gender relationship be a little extreme, it isn’t insurmountable. Every relationship needs works and efforts to keep it alive and be revived. Do not let the external factors and societal dilemma affect the love you share for your partner. 

Open communication is key to finding the root of all problems you are facing -alone or together in the relationship. Be vulnerable about your emotions to your partner and let him/her help you.

Seek help from trusted people around you when you think specific issues cannot be resolved between you. Take counselling sessions to get a third-person point of view and help you steer the conversation in the right direction for effective communication on both ends.

Face the problems head-on and not shy away from it. If you work together, then finding solutions and coming up with productive strategies to solve the matter will be easy.

Even though same-gender relationships aren’t frowned upon a lot, they aren’t universally accepted. We still have a steep hill to climb ahead of us and bring about pivotal changes concerning the acceptance of same-gender relationships and revolutionising laws. There aren’t many rights advocating their security. But change is occurring slowly and steadily.

I wish for a world where everyone is allowed to fall in love with any human they want to because to love and to be loved is a basic human right.

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