You are floating on cloud nine, and the whole world around you looks rosy. That’s the magic a new relationship woos on you. You are excited and want to spend all your time with your partner; want to know what ticks them, what makes them happy. Well, this behavior can be like a noose around your partner’s neck, that tightens as your relationship moves along. This overly needy behavior is termed ‘clingy’, and it could destroy a budding relationship even before it blooms.
What are the signs to look for that could potentially nudge you under the umbrella of ‘Clingy partner’? Let’s shed some light on it.
Your eyes are stuck on your mobile screen.
You are continuously texting them and calling to know his or her where bouts. You could be sending silly unrelated texts in which your partner has no interest. Your eyes are glued on to the screen to check for your partner’s reply. Your ears strained to listen to the ping of text reply or constantly to refresh page fearing you may have missed notifications.
It is alright to be concerned but going overboard with an overload of messages and calls is border-line clingy behavior.
Overthinking worst-case scenarios
You lose all sense of your thoughts when you do not get an instant reply, or he/she does not receive your calls. You overtax your brain with worst-case scenarios reeling through your mind.
Such’ what if’s’ thoughts aren’t healthy for you as well as your relationship. It can be toxic, and your behavior could wreak havoc on the relationship even before it starts.
Bear in mind that they aren’t blowing you off. He or she could be preoccupied with work or have their phone on silent or battery may have died. Do not stir a storm for no reason.
Pestering with prying questions
Curious behavior from your end is good as you want to know your partner well. Trying to understand your partner better makes you a good boyfriend or girlfriend.
But asking prying questions and sounding investigative is downright annoying. Such behavior may have them running out of doors within a blink. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but clingy behavior may ruin your relationship.
Losing sense of your self
You want to be the perfect partner to your boyfriend or girlfriend. In the process of becoming perfect for them do not lose a sense of who you are.
The qualities that made you unique is what attracted your partner in the first place. If you transform entirely to the extent where he or she may forget who you are, what’s the meaning of your relationship?
Drop your stalker hat
Do you find yourself browsing through your partner’s social media all the time? Do you always keep an eye on who has commented or who has liked their posts? Do you ever watch out for the people who are around him or her in the pictures? Social media has made sleuthing behavior an easy task.
Such action indicates mistrust in a relationship and could put an expiry date on your love life.
Irrational jealousy towards peers or co-workers
You do not like to see your partner around attractive co-workers or maintain a friendship with people whom you feel inferior. Your partner may have a platonic relationship, but in your eyes, it always illusions to be something more.
Jealousy is a telltale sign of you clingy in this relationship. Do not go around accusing of something that exists only in your imagination.
Speeding up your relationship status
It is fundamental for both of you to be on the same page regarding your relationship status. You may be just dating for a month, but in your mind, you already want your partner to meet your parents.
The relationship symbolizes a cart where both the wheels are moving at the same speed. Imagine if one wheel is running slow and another at motor speed, it’ll cause an imbalance in the relationship.
Attached by the hip
Boundaries are necessary to maintain breathing space in a relationship to not to feel suffocated. Do not tag along with your partner everywhere.
They might inform you where they are going to keep you in the loop. Do not take this as a signal for you to go to events uninvited. If they want you to come with them, for sure, you will receive an invitation. Unless you are wanted, don’t make yourself desperate.
Friends and families under an invisibility cloak
With a wish of spending all the time you can with your partner, you may neglect your time with family and friends. Your social calendar is just for your partner, and no one else. And in this fashion, you may slowly lose your friends and strain yourself with your family.
When you have a row with your friend, who will you turn to share your sorrow or get solace, do not drive your friends away. Have a quality relationship outside of your love relationship.
Why are you, clingy?
Everyone does not have a goal of being clingy or wake up one day and announce I want to be clingy. It is an unconscious development in your habit, which was affected by various factors.
It could be because of a past relationship, our insecurities, or you may come from the estranged family background. Sometimes you may not even be aware of the triggers in your past.
How to overcome it?
- You can use the signs mentioned above to check your pattern of behavior and understand if you tend to be clingy in the relationship. Is that the reason for your past failure in your relationship?
- Acknowledging your flaws and accepting it is the first step towards overcoming this.
- Working on yourself and having an identity is vital. Open communication with your partner can go a long way in mending your relationship.
- Be candid in your conversations and vulnerable in sharing your thoughts. Having a deeper understanding of your behavior can boost your partner to help you on your journey. You can work as a team in putting behind this barrier and bring you closer.
- Surround yourself with a loving and kind support system. Nurture a positive friendship.
- If you need professional help, do not hesitate. If therapy can help you save your relationship, do it.