Society is obsessed with following an invisible time table. At “x” age you have to complete your college studies, at “y” stage you should land your career, and by “z” time you should be settled. We are compromising to be in a relationship for not the right reasons, just to please everyone else but us.
What is the definition of settling down?
Finding the one? Having 2.0 kids? The white picket fence dream?
The picture painted above isn’t the idea of a complete relationship. If everyone followed this laid down path, imagine how monotonous the world would be? Exciting and exhilarating won’t be the words that you will find in anyone’s dictionary.
Are you walking down this path? Are you in a relationship for the right reasons? Let’s find out.
Lust at first sight
Common confusion exists between love and lust. Your chemistry was off the charts, electricity sparked between you at first touch. Hormones take over your mind in making sound decisions. You can’t walk into a relationship when you feel like, have a good time, and leave when you are bored.
These aren’t the right reasons for you to get into a relationship. Being great in bed is just one aspect of the relationship. You should have the best interest of both in your heart. Don’t let lust deprive both of you of a chance at seeking real love.
Let go of the relationship, unless you commit it to it fully- mind and soul.
Are you in it for the idea of a relationship?
Being in a relationship doesn’t excite you anymore. You miss being on your own. Maintaining the relationship feels like a chore rather than a pleasure. You keep taking a rain check on your dates. You always have some work to do or errands to run.
These signs indicate-you are in love with the idea of being in a relationship; rather than being in a relationship. Being in a relationship is more a title to you, which sounds better than ‘I am single’.
To keep loneliness at bay
Feeling lonely isn’t the right reason for you to dive into a relationship without thinking of repercussions. Facing your reality is daunting and being in a relationship keeps you occupied. Here’s a reality check- you can be lonely isolated at your home or feel lonely amidst a boisterous crowd at a concert.
The problem lies within you, and you got to deal with it sooner or later. It isn’t fair for you to drag another person along with you into this bottomless pit. Stop treating relationships like a hobby. Loneliness should be the last reason for you to get into a relationship.
Share the same dreams and goals
Having the same goals and interests among partners is delightful. These shared interests allow you to spend more time together. Beyond that what is it about your partner that you love? When you ask yourself -Why do I love him or her? Do the answers that pop in your mind sound like- we can talk about work for hours together, we like the same things, we never have arguments. If yes, you need to reconsider your relationship.
If you are from the same professional background- there needs to be a distinction between your work life and personal life. A relationship isn’t a business transaction. Ensure that career goals and dreams weren’t the reason for you to be in a relationship.
The relationship has become a shiny toy
Is your current partner the one whom you want your family to meet? Is he/she the one whom you wish to your friends to know more about? You can decide on your own, depending on your answer is yes or no. Are you in a relationship for the right reason?
When you are making any big purchases or investments, you do thorough research. You put so much thought behind it- resources you have, budget, the practicality of making such a purchase. A relationship is the most significant investment you make where two hearts and emotions are at stake. Think through if you are going somewhere in this relationship.
Time is ticking
The wrong notion we have in mind is – we have to be in a relationship at a certain age. This mindset is bull crap. You are forcing yourself to be in the relationship because time is racing against you.
Women especially have to think about their biological clock ticking. It is relatable. But should that be the only reason for you to be in a relationship that is less than stellar? You have viable options out there if you are courageous enough.
Don’t treat your partner as a potential parent investment. Let this not be the reason for you and your partner to be miserable forever.
Seeking comfort and security
The relationship has become a blanket of comfort and security. You do not want to step outside this safe cocoon. You want things to stay the same. You settle for living in misery because you are afraid of change. Don’t let unhappiness of being in a relationship stop you from finding your happiness.
You are chasing the relationship to meet the goal that was pitched to us. Be sure of what you desire in your life. Is a relationship what you want now truly from your heart?
Love the perks than your partner
The incentives you gain from being in this relationship is lovelier than the partner in your current relationship. It could be because your partner comes from a reputed family; your partner can support you financially and other myriads, superficial reasons. Misguided image and perception can be detrimental to your partner. Break-off your relationship before you break your partner’s heart.
Nothing beats your satisfaction and happiness. These should be the right reasons you are looking for to be in a relationship and not the perks you gain from it.
Gauge your emotional maturity before you think of getting into a relationship. Please don’t be impatient to jump into a relationship for the heck of it. We must handle decisions delicately regarding relationships. Stay happy and make others happy.