Being in a relationship is a beautiful bliss. You are a team and are there for each other through thick and thin. Sadly, not all relationships are golden. Some had the misfortune of enduring an abusive relationship.
Some broke their relationship because their partner was a cheater. Some bonds were never fated to last forever.
You are widowed, divorced, or single inadvertently regardless, you suffered. You underwent a lot of pain and struggle, surviving days that bled into months and years.
As time passed, people around you had one suggestion to pass or a piece of advice to give- “Start dating again.”
They mean well, for they want to see you smile and be your old self again.
Let’s face the music, shall we! Time can never be turned back and no one’s a Dr. Stranger here [Even if I dream of being one].
You try with all your might; you will never be the same as the experiences you had or have will never replicate.
Dating again and wanting to be in a relationship means no harm. The million-dollar question is, “Are you ready to dive into the dating pool again?”
You need to be sure if you are ready to date. If you are clueless, then I am here to help you out.
Let’s review the points to ensure if you are ready to date.
Your previous relationship hurt you. You wouldn’t wish such despair and heartbreak on your arch-nemesis.
You cannot forget the time you spent on the bed where you felt like you would die. You can still remember the endless tears and agony when you were cocooned under the fort of blankets, mindlessly watching Netflix and bingeing on ice-cream.
Time always has a way of healing from a deep cut to just being a bruise.
You need to accept that your relationship is in the past, and that’s where it is going to stay.
Rising from the ashes
With acceptance comes the next step where you try to piece yourself together.
Physically you might look put-together, shielding the world with ‘never been better’ attitude.
Are you emotionally doing well?
Or are you still in the past, clawing the scars and reliving the wounds?
You need to be honest with yourself. Brutally honest, even if you feel like the floor under you is giving away.
It takes time to be your full-self again.
You were living being ‘one-half’ for a long time, and suddenly, you have the burden of being on your own. You need to bear the responsibilities of your children and the entire household.
In the sudden transition, there may have been unfilled gaps. You need to rise from the ashes and soar like a phoenix, recovering yourself fully.
The common feeling carried around while trying to step into a new relationship is- the GUILT.
The guilty feeling of you don’t deserve to find love again—the pseudo feeling of ‘cheating on your partner’ because you are trying to move on.
An incredible gift showered on human beings is the ability to forget over time.
It is right to honor and cherish the memories you had in your past relationship. It is also right to find another love.
Deal with your feelings and emotions. Grieve your past relationship and welcome new relationship into the fold whole-heartedly.
Douse the bitter feelings
No one deserves to be cheated on. It’s an agreeable point.
What isn’t agreeable is you carrying the volcanic pit inside you, spitting flames of bitterness and anger.
How long will you bear the burden of this feeling?
It is only harming you and no one else. You cannot go around campaigning- ‘All mean are cheaters, or all women are gold-diggers.’
With this blistering aura surrounding, no one would like to be with you, fearing they would burn themselves. You need to solve the lingering issues.
Are you done stalking their social media or googling them to know updates?
Is their name no longer under your call log?
Are the days far apart when you think about your ex.
These are the signs you need to be showing to let go of them completely.
When you are dating again, you do not want to compare your current date with your past flame. It isn’t fair for them to deal with the emotional baggage they aren’t even aware of.
Seeking company out of loneliness
Are you a person who just jumps from one relationship to another, avoiding to face the aftermath of breakups?
If that’s the pattern going on in your life, you aren’t doing anyone a great deal of good: Yourself as well as the person who will be entering into a relationship with you.
You are fooling the person as well as yourself.
Before entering the dating pool, check if you are emotionally available. Are you ready to give yourself to your future partner completely?
If you are seeking companionship to fill the void, think twice.
Know what you are expecting
You have been in a relationship already. For reasons you cannot fathom, it didn’t work out.
Spend the time to understand what mistakes aren’t to be relived again, going into the next relationship.
You bounced back and are stronger than ever. You will know what the qualities you will want in the next person are.
Avoid drifting into the same type of relationship.
Take things slow if you have to. Get into the dating pool with realistic expectations.
You will know
Some feelings that course through us are unexplainable.
You will have a gut feeling that you are entirely ready to date. Dating will not feel like a chore.
You are excited about the prospects. You are not making decisions based on your messed-up emotions but rational thoughts. You are a bundle of renewed energy and optimism.
Broken relationships are hard, but deciding to date again is harder. You do not want to go through the same path of anguish and hopelessness.
It isn’t an easy feat to be vulnerable and put your broken heart out there.
Yet, you cannot live haunted by the past when bleak light of future waits to shine through.
You and only you can make the conscious decision of diving into the dating pool again.