It’s desirable to be in a relationship, but at what cost are you staying in a relationship. No human being is perfect. Everyone has their good traits and bad traits, but at times certain bad qualities may overshadow all the good qualities in them. Even if you love them from the core of your heart, there are absolute deal breakers in a relationship which cannot be sidelined.
What is considered a deal-breaker?
A deal breaker is a factor that is non-negotiable and may be the cause for the end of your relationship, no matter how many years you have been together. It may sound callous of you to end a relationship on just a single deciding factor. But at the risk of heartbreak and staying in an unhappy relationship, it doesn’t serve either of them well.
Each of us may have different deal-breakers, but here I have listed what may be the top ten common deal breakers in a relationship for most of us.
Unresolved fights and matters
When you first started dating, you felt a connection which you didn’t feel with anyone else. You share similar interests and tastes. This may have been the reason for you to get into a relationship with your partner. As time goes on, there are other aspects of a relationship that outweigh the validity of your relationship.
Conflicts are bound to happen, and resolving it is the only way to move forward in your relationship. If your partner keeps shoving the matters under the rug and pretends everything is jaunty, then your relationship is in jeopardy. It would be best if you spoke on the urgent and essential issues to keep your relationship smooth going.
If the partner doesn’t involve in open communication and keeps procrastinating the subject, it could be a deal-breaker in a relationship, unless sorted out.
Your partner is showing disinterest towards you or relationship
Not showing interest in you may sound like a fickle reason to end a relationship. But it can even be a deal-breaker to a few in the relationship. Showing interest in your girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s life, what is going on, knowing their likes and dislikes are vital in a relationship. There is no place for narcissism in a relationship. You and your partner are equally significant in a relationship.
Not putting in efforts to make your relationship work and showing disinterest towards your relationship may make you single very soon.
Never entertain abuse
We aren’t in the medieval era where women can be treated like a slave and expect them to zip their mouth in this regard. When we think of abuse, it is usually the physical abuse we equate too. Abuse is an umbrella term covering physical, mental, emotional, or sexual abuse.
No person has to tolerate this. Physical and sexual abuse are external parameters, but emotional and mental abuses are difficult to spot in a relationship. It leaves you broken down and damaged. In the hindsight of leaving an abusive relationship, you will think -what was I thinking and why didn’t I stand up for myself sooner? Abuse in a relationship should never be tolerated and is an absolute deal-breaker be it men or women.
Don’t walk the talk
Being charming is a flattering characteristic which will get you excellent prospects of relationship. Empty promises may put you back in the singlehood bandwagon.
Just talking and not walking the talk is a deal-breaker in a relationship. Actions speak louder than words. You will say I will follow up on the missed-out dates. But if you don’t follow through, it is not a good sign for a healthy relationship.
Still pining for their ex
Lingering feelings for your ex-partner don’t bode well for your present relationship. No one likes to know that their partner has feelings for their ex. It is a matter which we cannot let it slide. So, pining for their ex and not having a proper closure is one of the top deal breakers in a relationship.
Infidelity can never be tolerated
Being cheated on leaves behind a scar which will make you skeptical about entering a relationship for your whole life. Infidelity from your partner hurts like someone had stabbed you in the back with a blade and are twisting the knife in place. You wouldn’t wish even your enemy to be cheated for no one wants to endure such a pain.
Cheated once shame on them, cheated twice shame on you for being in that relationship.Unknown
If you are in a polyamorous or open-relationship, then infidelity will not be a deal-breaker.
Lack of ambition and drive
One of the most attractive qualities in a person is their passion. No one can deny the charm of a self-driven person. The ambition sparkling in their eyes pushes you to hustle and reach towards your goals.
If your partner lacks ambition and drive, he/she is dead weight in the relationship. They rely on you to carry the burden of relationship all the time. It is taxing and exhausting, to be honest. No one likes to take a ton of weight on their back.
Changing stance on having kids
This is a crucial topic and is one of the topmost deal-breaker in a relationship. Discussion on whether you want to have kids or not is a must-have talk before you get married or get into a relationship for the long haul. Initially, one of you may be wishy-washy in making up mind on having kids. You would think let’s table this talk later and push it aside. He/she will make a firm decision on having kids after some years.
When the moment appears where you have to make a decision and both of you are on other ends of the road that’s when shit hits the fan. It’ll tear your relationship apart, and this is something that cannot be overlooked.
When work is the priority
When you are in a relationship, each one becomes the first priority for the other. There may be exceptions where your preference may take a backseat, and you would have to focus on the situation at hand.
Being ambitious is virtuous, but being a workaholic isn’t excusable. No person likes to be a paramour to work in their own relationship. If the tendency to work overrides your willingness to be in a relationship, you may kiss your partner goodbye.
Spending habits too are deal breakers in a relationship
Spending habits of an individual affect your relationship. You would think it is a trivial matter, but it isn’t. If your spending habits are out of control and lands you in bucketloads of debt-you are the only one who will be drowning in it.
Don’t expect your partner to lead you a lending hand, whatsoever. Maybe one or two times, out of love, your partner may help you. If it is an endless pit, then they are going to dump you, and it shouldn’t come across as a shock.
No person is worth losing your self-respect. Just as you know what the qualities are, you would desire in your partner, bear in mind what are the qualities or characteristics that are a deal-breaker for you. Communicate it first in hand so that it won’t be problematic in the future.